Year End Report for 2005

PARTNERS in COMPASSION CAMBODIA
WAT OPOT PROJECT

HOSPICE CARE

     In the beginning of 2005 we were full house but by February we were down to only a few patients staying in the hospice area and we hoped it was a sign that things were getting better. That did not last for very long however and by mid February we were back to overflowing with 15 in-patients. We have continued to keep our 12 beds full most of the year. There were 34 of our patients who died; most were in our care at the time and were cremated here at the Project. Many of our present patients have only recently found out they were infected with HIV and while some have waited to long to get tested and died before we could get them started in treatment, others have responded well to treatments and are now able to live nearly normal lives. We are encouraged by the fact that few of our old patients need hospice care anymore because the Anti-Retro-Viral-therapy appears to be working for them. Several now work with our home care teams as community volunteers and some have been hired as staff. Four of the women who were patients in the beginning of the year now work as caregivers for our children’s program at the Project. These signs all point to a more positive future for many with the HIV infection in Cambodia, however we feel that hospice care will still be needed for a long time to come and plan to continue to provide this service for as long as it is needed.


CHILD HAVEN CENTER

     The Child Haven Center has grown from about 15 children in the beginning of the year to its present number of 50. While most of the children are either orphans of AIDS or are here with their mother who is HIV Positive but homeless, a few are now coming to us simply because they have no one to care for them, several are HIV Positive. We now have five homeless mothers who are HIV Positive who run the center with the help of two staff members. Each is given a monthly allowance for their work and all the children they can handle. It has been a growing experience for all of us but I don’t hear many complaints and I think most are just as happy as I am to be a part of the Wat Opot Family.

ADVANCEMENT CENTER

     The Advancement Center includes all of our residents who are able to live on their own but have no where to go. Several of the men work with on grounds crew while their wives work in the weaving center. There are four families and three single women living here presently and they have with them 8 children who attend school with the rest of our children. This group will most likely be expanding the most in the coming year, as we get the weaving and sewing rooms organized and build more housing for them to live.

     
CONCLUSION

     It has been a Great year for Partners in Compassion Cambodia; we have had to make some long range commitments and that is always a bit scary but I believe we are on the right track and I look forward to where the New Year will bring us.

Wayne Dale Matthysse
Co-Founder / Advisor
PARTNERS in COMPASSION Cambodia

Newsletter for November 2005

     It is hard to believe that I have been back in Cambodia over a month already and yet, were it not for the reminders of those who were not here to greet me when I got back; it is almost as if I had never left. I am just getting finished with the pictures for the crematorium’s Family Room of the five who have died in the past two months. Two of our boys, Lyhou, four years old, and Wat, two years old, died in the 30 days I was gone. Then my first night back a new patient died and just last week our newest baby girl, 22 day old Srey Mom died and the very next day another of our older women died..., and even as I am writing this I am called away to start an IV on a women who just returned from the hospital in Takeo yesterday. As I was inserting the needle into her arm she pulled away and so I asked her if it was because I hurt her. She shook her head ‘No’ and then, as a tear fell from her eye..., she tuned to her side and died... That was two days ago and just after the cremation we admitted another man who died the following morning. It is Sunday evening now and things are quiet for the first time since I got back.

     We have had some great volunteers with us who have gotten us through some of the rough times. Shelly from Maryland has been here for two months and will stay until December. Yuvany from France spent most of the time I was gone helping Theresa by working with the children and is now back at work in Phnom Penh. Jimmy, from New Mexico, came for a four day visit and Gale from Maine has arrived and will stay for an extended period of time. Steve and Sue from Australia spent a weekend with us and are making plans for their possibly returning for an extended time as well.

     Coming up this week we will have Rudy from GLOW Ministries here for three days and he is bringing with him Gary and Mat, two other volunteers from Michigan. They will be helping with some of the construction and landscaping work if the weather permits. On Thursday we will be having another World Food Program Tour with a delegation from the U.S. Congressional Committee on Hunger, followed by a tour from a World Vision group. While this may sound busy, it really is not and in fact it is exciting to know that so many people are interested in what is going on here.

     The rains have come and water surrounds us but the fields are green with rice and that is the way I like it. The older guys go out almost every night with flashlights to catch catfish, turtles, and frogs to supplement the next day’s meal. These delicacies of nature are a free gift and a bit easier to except from them than the snakes and rats they catch during the dry season for the same purpose.

     Where does the time go? I see I still haven’t put this letter out and it is already mid November. Another death a few days ago, another visit from Rudy and this time he brought his parents and now Andrew from Australia has just arrived for a short term stay. Thanksgiving Day is coming up in the USA and while we do not celebrate it here in Cambodia, I am no less grateful for the many ways GOD has showered His Love on us here at the Wat Opot Project. We thank all of you who have been so generous with your support. The new Gazebo should be finished in a few days and the construction cost has already been paid. Next we hope to start on the boy’s dormitory and than the school rooms.

GOD BLESS!

Wayne Dale Matthysse
Co-founder
Partners in Compassion / Cambodia

The Brang Chhang Story

Loveable is not a word one would use to describe Chhang and he was well aware of that. At one time before the sores started, his looks were more tolerable but he never did gain weight in his lifetime and having AIDS was something he couldn’t hide from others. To weak to play with the other children, he would sit or lie on the table and watch the activities but became irritable should anyone attempt to include him in with the fun. He was content to be invisible... unless something didn’t go his way, than everyone knew about it. At times his demands went unnoticed however and he would eventually take his blanket and simply cover his head and pretend the world did not exist. He did have his moments, usually after a meal, when he would come over to my table and sit on my lap.  I was not always sure if it was to be with me or because he could clean my plate of the left over meat scrapes or fish heads I had not consumed. He wasn’t much for cuddling and didn’t like to be tickle; most of the time he would just curl up and fall asleep in my arms.

He was one of my toughest critics, though he seldom said a word, I could feel him watching me in my work and play with the other children. He seemed to be looking into my soul..., questioning my motives..., and evaluating my sincerity. For that reason, whenever he returned from the Hospital after a Doctors appointment and presented me with an ear of boiled sweet corn or other special treat that he himself had chosen to give to me, I was greatly humbled.

He had been with us nearly a year but his condition was getting worse instead of better. On the 16th of January 2005, he refused to get out of bed for breakfast and so we let him sleep in... but later that morning when I checked on him he was very weak. I decided to start an IV drip but had difficulty finding a good vein. He offered little resistance as I poked around in his frail arm with the needle. For Chhang that was unusual and when, after several attempts I looked up, I realized his body was beginning to shut down.

There was fear on his face as I took hold of his hand; he looked straight into my eyes, following my every move. If I would let go of his hand he became restless and so I continued to hold it while staring back into the ever-widening pupils of his big dark eyes. His breathing became shallow and his body relaxed but his eyes never stopped watching me.

Several of the children came around, as did the other residents..., they all knew what was happening; we have been through it so many times before and they all know, from the youngest to the oldest, that at these times I need them more than ever to provide emotional support. With candle and incense lit we sat there quietly waiting for what none of us wanted but all of us knew would come... and it did... but unlike any other death before, Chhang took a firm grip of my hand and while his other arm reached up to wrap around my neck, like he had done so many times before when he wanted me to carry him, he cried out to JESUS, in the only name by which he knew HIM. "Wayne!" he shouted... quite clearly, for all of us to hear. I literally saw him coming up and out of those big dark eyes and felt his Spirit, like a cool breeze on a midsummer’s night, passing through me and into the arms of JESUS. His lifeless arms than fell back to the bed while his eyes gently closed behind his departing spirit.

I have always assumed that just before death, when the eyes have fully dilated and the respirations have ceased, there was no more recognition by the dying person of things going on around him, at least not of worldly things. Often I have seen the body of a dying person make a final attempt to breathe in, just one more time, the air that has given it life but I have always attributed that to nerves or muscular contractions. For that reason, to have Chhang reach out his arms for me and call my name, long after I had assumed his Spirit had departed, was a bit startling. What could it mean?

I suppose there are many possible explanations for what happen that day but since no one has yet come out with their theory, I will have to stick to mine. I believe that GOD sent me here to Cambodia to be the Hands, Feet and Body of JESUS and that as long as I continue to be open to allowing JESUS to work through me, HE and I are One. Chhang was able to feel GOD’S Love through me and therefore called out to that LOVE in my name, with his dying breath.  

MT 10:40 "He who receives you receives me, and he who receives me receives the one who sent me. 41 Anyone who receives a prophet because he is a prophet will receive a prophet's reward, and anyone who receives a righteous man because he is a righteous man will receive a righteous man's reward. 42 And if anyone gives even a cup of cold water to one of these little ones because he is my disciple, I tell you the truth, he will certainly not lose his reward."    

     I am neither a Prophet or a Righteous Man and as a Volunteer For JESUS I am perhaps one of the least of HIS disciples..., yet I believe that because Chhang offered me a hand picked ear of boiled sweet corn, in response to the Love of GOD he felt flowing through me..., he has not lost his reward.

VFJ Wayne Dale Matthysse
CO-Founder
Partners in Compassion / Cambodia
                                                                            

The Well Known Stranger

He comes and goes as he pleases and works behind the scenes. Most times we are not even aware of his presence until he is ready to steal another from us. The children may become restless or the dogs bark more than usual in the night... but we choose to ignore these things... for to acknowledge them, is to acknowledge him.
 
Some say he comes for the souls of three, which of course is superstition, but than more oft than not, that is the way it goes. He came last week and took one by surprise. I think he is still here, I can feel him just around the corner at times, appearing briefly in the corner of my eyes, but when I turn to look he is not there. Two have taken a turn for the worse and tonight the children are wild. I brace myself for another sleepless night and wonder which one it will be, or maybe both.
 
It is not always obvious and those you think will be taken sometimes get left behind and I wonder if it is just the roll of the dice or is there something to their number being up.
 
I don’t think he is a bad guy, just someone doing his job. At times I am even grateful to him for taking some out of their misery... and mine. Not that I want or like to see people die but when they are in the last stages of life they can become rather messy and well... gross. Not every one can die like in the soap operas with clean sheets and satin pillows.
 
Sakon has been dying for the past six months; she’s 38 and has two wonderful kids who have been her primary care givers all this time. She has large draining abscesses on both of her buttocks, a broken leg bone from a fall a month or so ago diarrhea, vomiting, and high fevers. Something keeps her going but I am not sure what it is, guess her number isn’t up or perhaps she never learned to play dice. She screams with pain if you touch her and shouts at the kids if they don’t. They often just sit and cry because they don’t know what else to do. Peter went to get his grandmother yesterday because his mother told him to and because... well he is just so very tired. She hadn’t been here for over 3 months. She stayed in the room all of 20 minutes and than had to go out side. She left early this morning but not before having bitter words with Sakon. Guess they never did have much of a relationship. She said not to bother her for the funeral but to send the kids back home when it was over because she needed them to care for her. Some would call her cruel but she is really only trying to survive. Life can be difficult for old people in a country where there is no Welfare or Social Security and the only source of income is in planting and harvesting rice for the rich, who own the land.
 
Chea is the other one waiting to be called, a man of 37 who once had it all but lost it on a gamble when he bought a girl for pleasure and got the losing draw. It took his wife three years ago and now it’s taking him... but slowly and painfully. He suffered a stroke before he came and lost the use of his left side, but he did not loss his dignity. A few weeks back he had another, which left him helpless and incontinent, yet he still wants to get out everyday and he tries... he tries so hard to be dignified but it’s difficult to do when you’re sitting in a smelly diaper, saliva dribbling from your mouth.
 
I wish for death for nobody but would not be telling the truth if I didn’t add that I long to have a good night sleep and I know that will not come until the children laugh and sing again... and the dogs are silent in the night... and the stranger we know so well, leaves us alone for a time.
 
 
VFJ Wayne Dale Matthysse

Burning Bridges

Woke up in a bed, which for me is a strange place to be, and for a moment did not know where I was. My hands and feet were numb from lack of movement and so I assume I have been sleeping soundly which I seldom do except when I am exhausted. The sounds of children playing outside and the chanting of Buddhist Monks in the background tells me I am in Asia, yes.... Cambodia, now I remember, but why was I in bed? I try to recall the events leading up to this time but nothing comes to mind except caring for our sickest patient Sok Kea, a 36-year-old man who was not doing well.

     Sok Kea had come to us nearly 2 months ago with his wife. She had separated from him when she found out he had AIDS and that he had given it to her, but when she was told he was sick she returned to care for him at his brothers home where he was staying. The brother had grown weary of his constant complaining however and come to ask us to pick him up and take him to the Wat Opot Project for care. Sok Kea was not that interested in the transfer but was too weak to resist.

     In the first few days he lay in bed and expected everyone to serve him but we told him that privilege was only for those who were serious and he would have to start going to the dinning room like everyone else if he wanted to eat. He finally gave in but wanted to be brought in a wheelchair. We allowed it or a couple of days but as he started getting his strength back we told him he would have to walk. He gave in again and for several days things were going well. Than one morning he didn’t come out for breakfast and when we checked on him he said he didn’t want to eat. We asked him where his wife was and he didn’t say anything but one of the patients said he had hit her again during the night and that she had left at the break of dawn with all her things.

From that day on he became difficult to work with. He would refuse to eat or to allow us to administer IV solutions and as a result he became weak again. He began having loose bowel movements but instead of telling us he would just let them come out and we finally had to insist he wear diapers. He was uncooperative with that as well and would take them off after having a movement and throw them on the table or chair and we would have to clean up after him several times a day. The whole room had a terrible odor and other patients would refuse to sleep in the room with him because he was obnoxiously gross.

Sok Kea is not the first person to behave in this manner and I doubt he will be the last. The bitterness and guilt for having and spreading AIDS causes them to hurt the ones they once loved and when all of the bridges have been burned they come to us because there is no where else to go.

Yesterday Sok Kea passed the point of no return, his stubbornness and refusal to eat had bought him close to the door of death and for the first time in his stay with us, I could see that he was scared. “I want to go home.” he pleaded tearfully, as we changed his dirty diaper and cleaned him up.  A call was made to his brother who arrived a few hours later. The brother stayed only a few minutes, just long enough to check his condition and to tell him there was no way he was going to bring him home.

In the evening Sok Kea’s father showed up and said he would spend the night. There were some harsh words at first but than I saw the father sitting on the bed and there seemed to be some reconciliation. I had my bed prepared on the unit again as is the procedure when someone is close to dying; the father also slept on the unit in a bed across the room. I had heard Sok Kea crying at about 3 O-clock in the morning and waited for someone to assist him. No one did and so I got up to sit with him for a while. He stopped crying, as I pulled the chair up to the bed, and reached his frail hand out through the mosquito net for me to hold. It was than he said something that really confused me; he simply spoke the name of JESUS in Khmer. His respirations were labored from the congestion in his lungs and so I slowly fanned him to the rhythm of his breathing. The effect is hypnotic and within an hour he was sleeping soundly. I returned to my bed but was awaken by the father shortly before 6 O-clock. The father thought he had died but when I got to him he was still breathing although I could see it would not be long before he left us. I asked if he wanted his clothes on which is the custom of the Khmer people. He nodded his head and so, with the father’s assistance, I put his shirt on. The movement however was too much for him and his eyes rolled to the back of his head for just a moment. We laid him back down so that he could recuperate but I could see his eyes were beginning to dilate.

“Are you still with us Sok Kea?” I ask, and I feel his finger pressing against my hand in response. Than looking straight through me with those large dilated eyes, to a point somewhere beyond; he relaxed and took his final breath.

Suddenly it occurs to me why I am lying in this bed. I had started the cremation fire and told the family to wait for the bones. When I returned to the unit I saw an empty bed and decided to lie down for just a moment but must have fallen into a deep sleep.

Fortunately the timing was just right and I was able to complete the cleansing ceremony of the bones with the family without their knowing I had taken a leave of absence in the time out zone. The final moments of Sok Kea’s life however, still linger in my mind and while I am certainly no stranger to death, I am still mystified by the process. Something does truly happen to people, of all Faiths, moments before death, though it is more evident in some than in others. There is the surrendering of all they have held on to in life, both good and bad and the gradual acceptance that death is there waiting for them. Most show no fear of passing in the final moments and many give the impression that they can see and hear things or people in the room that I do not see or hear. Perhaps this is only because their eyes begin dilating or a lack of oxygen causes hallucinations, or could it be they begin to see, just across my shoulder, the land that lies beyond the final bridge?

GOD BLESS!

VFJ Wayne Dale Matthysse